Knock, Knock!

So she did it.

She forced me to, I didn't want to.

But I had to.

I was forced to call Christian and say these words, "Do you know what your daughter just did?"

I think I have shared with you all the little karate kicker I have who likes to kick open *and shut* doors and yell, "Emma!". Well, she was practicing her craft, yet again last Friday - when she was home from pre-school sick - and began her usual routine in the bathroom. I played with her for a few minutes opening the door after she shut it, only to see and hear her slam it in my face followed with her adorable battlecry.

I ONLY WALKED AWAY FOR LIKE 2 MINUTES to fold some laundry between slams, when I just heard silence. As any mother knows, this is never a good sign. So I go to check on her when low-and-behold, I can't open the door. SHE LOCKED THE DOOR FROM THE INSIDE.

Oh, and this is one of those "blind locks" they call them. The kind that can ONLY BE OPENED FROM INSIDE.

So, again, I say: She made me do it. I made the call to Christian to have him come home because I had no clue what to do. I begged, and pleaded, and cajoled to no end. She was giggling up a storm in there. I knew she had taken in a juice box with her, so I could occasionally hear her take a sip - until she finished it and threw it in the trash and said, "Alle alle", which means "all done". Now I knew we were going to hit critical mass time. I also knew there was a candle burning in the bathroom - out of her reach - but still.

Christian tried everything when he came home. He begged, pleaded, and cajoled. Nothing. He tried to open the lock with different tools. He took the lock plate off, he took the handle of the door off. Nothing. It was basically a DEADBOLT lock, that could only be opened from her side. And although she locked it, in my heart I knew she would never figure out how to unlock it! Christian got out the hammer and tried to lift the door up a bit (although the hinges were on the inside), he was trying everything. The noise was what did it. She does not like loud noises that she doesn't know or see where they're coming from. She started to lose it.

That was the end, after that...that door was coming down. Christian began prying it open. The wood was falling fast. But not fast enough. She was wailing by now...poor Christian was working so furiously and trying to calm her at the same time. The frame was falling piece by piece. Again, this was a DEADBOLT!!! After about 3 minutes, and an extremely soar shoulder, he had broken through the door, and scoupped her up. She was huddled in the corner, which was good. It was so hard to try to break down the door - with the result of the door flying open - not knowing where she was in the room! We didn't want to knock her down too!

So now, here is what we are left with...

We definitely can't have visitors anytime soon, as the door doesn't shut in the moment.

Oh well, something for her baby book.

Another side note: this happened on the 19th, which was my Mother's Birthday. I was definitely a little sad on that day, and didn't really know how to memorialize her. I thought Emma's act of disobedience was the perfect way to celebrate my Mom. Because in the end, that's what children do when they're children. They make mistakes - and the parents still love them.

...and some blog about them!

Memories today...

Happy Birthday, Mom.

My First Rude "Twin" Comment

It was bound to happen.

People say the stupidest things, why should I be saved from the wrath of their stupidity in a supposed moment of joy for me?

I ran into my neighbor in the hallway of the apartment. She is a somewhat older woman (late 50's, early 60's) who likes to dress like she's 30 and always has different men over "helping" her with home repairs. Mmhmmm.

However, she's usually very pleasant to chat with and always has nice things for Emma and doesn't REALLY complain too much of the noise my little angel can make. Especially when she karate kicks the doors open and screams, "Emma!". Hilarious, note to self: catch this on video!

So, back to the comment... I had only been home a few days, so hadn't really seen her too much. So when she asked me how I was, I told her I was tired and then said, "you know I'm pregnant, right?". To which she replied, "Oh yes, I can SEE", as she points to my belly. Um, okay, that's not very polite, but I figure she's German and learned long ago to re-evaluate my politeness meter to include Germans.

THEN I said, "It's twins". I saw her face turn to horror, as if I had just said that I was giving birth to SAW IIV, and she said (NOW SWITCHING TO ENGLISH!), "How horrible, I am so sorry". It really took me off guard and I had to think how to respond to that. What SHOULD I say to that???? But she took the pressure off of me by continuing on her tyraid of words like, "horrible, awful, sorry, when are you moving??". I told Christian it was like a machine gun of word vomit being fired at me.

I was on my way to work, so I VERY POLITELY just said (IN GERMAN), that "well, we'll see how it turns out and that since Emma was such an easy baby I have high hopes for the twins, too". She looked at me like I was crazy, I looked at her like she was a witch. And I continued on my path.

Can you believe it??????? I swear, I felt like it was a strange episode of German television.

Do you know that the German version of America's Next Top Model (appropriately changed to GERMAN's NTM) is hosted by Heidi Klum here? Oh yes, and when it comes to the end where they tell the girls if they stay or go, over HALF of them are told they are leaving! Yes, half! They cry, they say their goodbyes, they begin their walk of shame out of the hall when Heidi says something stupid like, "Just kidding! Did you think we were really kicking you out?". Um, yes Heidi, she did. Because you TOLD her you were. It's like this awful sense of humor that purports to be funny....in reality makes you feel inferior. Ugh. Another German charm.