Did you know that twins means TWO BABIES at all times?
I bet you thought you knew that...but you never actually had two babies around you ALL THE TIME WITHOUT EVER HAVING A BREAK, so you didn't really know that two was really two.
I'm so tired. I'm tired of these babies that give me no relief. They wear me out everyday. I'm living in Groundhog Day hell. They are the shittiest sleepers and, oh, did I mention they're two? So when you have one shitty sleeper, they usually very nicely wake the other shitty sleeper up too.
I wake up everyday, after waking up 5 times a night for Henry, and wish I could run away with my life. Really, I do. I check out ticket prices to LA, and think...hmmm, should I take Emma with me? Yes. Should I take Christian with me? No, someone has to look after the babies! SEE, I'm not all bad! I care about their welfare!
I'm so damn tired. I don't have time for anything. I would LOVE to go to the bathroom without four hands trying to beat down the door if I DARED to close it. Or to hang my wet laundry (yup, I said that - welcome to Europe, the 3rd world country), without having babies rip down everything that I just hung up. Maddening.
I'm away from all my friends, I'm away from my family. Can you imagine NEVER getting a break from your kid(s)? I mean like seriously, who lives like that?
Emma is adorable with them, my only saving grace. And how she earned her ticket with me on the plane to LA in my daydream runaway. But to forget who you are as a person is a horribly, rotten thing to happen. I'm no longer Jenn. I'm Emma Rey's mama, or the twins' mama. I'm not really Christian's wife - except for occasionally, but most people know me by the other descriptions.
My pity party is not over. It won't be over until these bastards are sleeping good, less cranky, and HE stops screeching in my ear the whole damn day! Do I just have loser twins that are loud - I mean LOUD, and shitty sleepers? I see my friend's baby, Livia, and she is always - ALWAYS so quiet, with this perfect little smirk on her face like she's thinking, "hmmm, I'm glad I'm here and not there (pointing her cute little finger into my stroller!".
Hmmpf.
out.
