Can we praise & encourage our kids TOO much?

Emma is a genius!  She is so smart, and so talented, and so beautiful, and so damn kind-hearted I can almost weep sometimes when I watch her.  Is she MORE talented, and MORE beautiful and MORE kind-hearted than other kids - say YOURS??  I don't know.  

But in my eyes, yes - and I tell her everyday, and every time I see her doing something that personifies one of these traits.  

But I got to thinking, can it ever be too much praise that you're bestowing upon your little darling?  I mean, yes -- she did dance a good routine to Bootylicious, and yes -- she did brush her brother's hair very nicely, but does she really need so much stroking from me on doing these things?  Will it really help her in the future??

Here in Germany,  children are not praised for the little (sometimes trivial) things that we often praise our children for.  The idea is that not everything they do - even the GOOD THINGS they do - should be worthy of a barrage of compliments from the Parents.  This theory is carried out in the schools as well.  It saves the true praise and compliment for a completed action that is done through repeated learning.  Ex., setting the table alone without being asked (for a child a bit older), or watering the plants correctly (for a child a bit younger).

My Dad taught me early on about life:  

"The only thing that's guaranteed are death & taxes"

and

"Be nice to your family.  

There are enough people in the world who are ready & willing to be mean to you"

Did I misunderstand?  Do the Germans have it right - take a look at their placement in Child Development & Education Statistics in the world overview- they're doing something right!

I assumed that I should instill greatness in my children's actions no matter how big or small - but in the end is it a false sense of accomplishment when I tell them, "Hooray!  You ate dinner and didn't bother your brother & sister once!".  I know that mentioning & praising the milestones in smaller children are different than in older ones.  The first time she brushes her teeth alone, and sets the table, and doesn't pick up her sister every damn minute for more than 20 ARE milestones that we want to celebrate.

But what about after that?

I don't see me changing my mind fully about giving praise to them.  Perhaps it is because I'm still hearing my Dad's voice in my head reminding me about the people in the world firing up their engines to be mean to my children - who, by the way I will KILL if I ever see it -thankyouverymuch.  I want them to be prepared and strong and ready to deflect any of the negativity that comes their way, but I also don't want it to be some false shield that they're wearing and find out all too late that the "skills" I praised them on are no good to them now.

Ugh.  Is this really parenthood?  

And to answer the question all parents ask: Yes, Mom & Dad, it is a hard job...