Friday, March 23, 2012

Cleaning House

I flew into Las Vegas to essentially go to my Mom's funeral, and clear her entire presence from her apartment. Cleaning the house forever of someone you love is a very unpleasant thing to do.

What do you save? What do you throw away? What do you save that will sit like a lump of coal in your heart AND your garage? What will you throw away that you will hate yourself for later?

I took some things; some things I took and left with my brother out of the pure reason that I couldn't take them NOW, and other things, we left & gave away. I'm happy with most of the decisions we made in that week. I still miss some of the things we gave away, and some of the things that sit in my brothers garage. But every time I come home I take a few things with me, and that makes her all the more close to me in my new home.

Some of the things I did find (and subsequently take) were greeting cards. She had a whole box filled with them, probably about 40. My Mom was pretty great about sending hand-written cards. Perhaps because you couldn't talk back to a greeting card! She was a beautiful writer.

Some were just beautiful photographs of nature, animals. Some were hand painted flowers, others were eco-friendly sustainable wood cards! She had a HUGE variety. Others I found, were obviously for my brother and his new nuclear family-to-be (Amaya hadn't graced us yet!). Some just said, "Happy Birthday", others were funny cards about men & women (we all know whose side my Mom was on, right??!!)

At first, I took the cards specifically for the reason that Sam could still get his cards from Mom for these specified reasons (Christmas, the birth of Miss Amaya), via the "Hotline to Heaven". Later, I found myself looking at what I perceived to be cards meant for me. I wanted to share a few of them here so you could see the complexities, compassion, and determination to make things right my Mom had.

How to please a woman?
Love her, die for her, take her to dinner, miss the football for her, buy her jewelry, be interested in what she has to say...

How to please a man?
Show up naked, bring beer

(Picture of a sad bird with head fallen between shoulders) I'm sorry.
(inside) You're always right and I'm always wrong. You're the best and I'm the worst. You're great at everything and I suck at everything. Are you happy now?

(Letterpress stationary with a beautiful flower scene & a skunk).
(inside) I stink. I'm sorry.

(person holding a red rose) I'm trying.
(inside) And you know how trying I can be!

I don't exercise.
If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

(beautiful bronze falling leaves) My friend is one who takes me for what I am.

(2 Antelopes with horns locked) I hate it when we lock horns.

(Hand drawn pictures of all four seasons)
(inside) I can't believe it's been so long since we talked.

Metallic celestial sun
(inside) You're the light of my life


There are a ton of just blank cards with beautiful pictures on them. I have used MANY of the cards...most of them have been PERFECT for the situation I gave them out in. Even a card for dealing with the grief of a lost, loved one. Which I gave to my friend who lost her baby. Actually, that's why I was looking through my Mom's cards today was because it was the 2 year date of when she lost Luis.

And you know what?
I found the perfect card.


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