1 Year Old...We Made It!

Of course this is coming to you a bit late, but it was truly hectic around here lately with the Birthday Party, Easter with guests, Christian's Aunt visiting from Texas.

My babies aren't babies anymore (well, according to Dr. Spock, Dr. Sears, and any other prominent Child Development Doctor!) They are ONE YEAR OLD!!

We celebrated on their birthday, April 7th, here at home with a select few of people who had done small and big things for us during the most difficult year of our lives. I said that I was happy to be out of that year, happy to still be married, and happy to still overall be HAPPY. Times were rough, self-esteem was for the birds, it was survival in the most basic mode...but we survived.

There are pics from the party, but I'm deciding to post these. I have these from all my kids now to celebrate THEIR accomplishments and personalities at their one year anniversary.

Enjoy meeting Henry & Romy!

Karneval!

While we don't have Halloween here in Germany, we do have a time for the kids to dress up - and eat sweet things!

Karneval, or "Fasching" as it's known here in Germany follows the same Carnival dates as in Rio, or Mardi Gras in Louisianna. February 20-22. (Yes, this post is late, I know already!)

Street parades, candy thrown from floats, kids (and adults) dressed up in costume - although it's a pleasant break from seeing all the adults in "sexy nurse" or "sexy firewoman", or "sexy everything"! Also being thrown from the floats are tiny bottles of Schnapps! Fun for all! The last Fasching's Parade I went to had paper mache of Obama & Merkel duking it out! Hilarious!

They celebrate it at the pre-schools here with the kids dressing up and doing fun foods for the day.

So, with all my free time I have I wanted to make Emma her own costume. I found a beautiful one here from Prudent Baby that looked amazingly fun for my little girl.

So off I went - with all my free time (can you hear me choking those words out?)...

And the result was...hmmm, I think the pictures say it better than me:

I definitely faced some resistance putting it initially on her,

but I thought, "Oh, she'll see the other kids in costumes and BECOME ok with it".

STILL hoping for the reluctance to leave us...

Emma's best friend, Lili trying also to convince her of the fun to be had in costume!

Thanks, Ladybug Lili!

"I don't care what you say, this SUCKS!"

My kid? Um, yeah.

She desperately was trying to pull off/rip off anything she could. The white bird front part got pushed up over her belly in her attack of resistance.

Lesson #1 Learned: I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it.

Thank you, Bill Cosby...truer words have never been spoken.

Lesson #2 Learned: Buying off the rack never hurt NOBODY.

Hello sexy bird costume next year...

In a horrible p.s. to this, all the Teachers told me what a great "penguin" she was!

Really??

Cleaning House

I flew into Las Vegas to essentially go to my Mom's funeral, and clear her entire presence from her apartment. Cleaning the house forever of someone you love is a very unpleasant thing to do.

What do you save? What do you throw away? What do you save that will sit like a lump of coal in your heart AND your garage? What will you throw away that you will hate yourself for later?

I took some things; some things I took and left with my brother out of the pure reason that I couldn't take them NOW, and other things, we left & gave away. I'm happy with most of the decisions we made in that week. I still miss some of the things we gave away, and some of the things that sit in my brothers garage. But every time I come home I take a few things with me, and that makes her all the more close to me in my new home.

Some of the things I did find (and subsequently take) were greeting cards. She had a whole box filled with them, probably about 40. My Mom was pretty great about sending hand-written cards. Perhaps because you couldn't talk back to a greeting card! She was a beautiful writer.

Some were just beautiful photographs of nature, animals. Some were hand painted flowers, others were eco-friendly sustainable wood cards! She had a HUGE variety. Others I found, were obviously for my brother and his new nuclear family-to-be (Amaya hadn't graced us yet!). Some just said, "Happy Birthday", others were funny cards about men & women (we all know whose side my Mom was on, right??!!)

At first, I took the cards specifically for the reason that Sam could still get his cards from Mom for these specified reasons (Christmas, the birth of Miss Amaya), via the "Hotline to Heaven". Later, I found myself looking at what I perceived to be cards meant for me. I wanted to share a few of them here so you could see the complexities, compassion, and determination to make things right my Mom had.

How to please a woman?

Love her, die for her, take her to dinner, miss the football for her, buy her jewelry, be interested in what she has to say...

How to please a man?

Show up naked, bring beer

(Picture of a sad bird with head fallen between shoulders) I'm sorry.

(inside) You're always right and I'm always wrong. You're the best and I'm the worst. You're great at everything and I suck at everything. Are you happy now?

(Letterpress stationary with a beautiful flower scene & a skunk).

(inside) I stink. I'm sorry.

(person holding a red rose) I'm trying.

(inside) And you know how trying I can be!

I don't exercise.

If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

(beautiful bronze falling leaves) My friend is one who takes me for what I am.

(2 Antelopes with horns locked) I hate it when we lock horns.

(Hand drawn pictures of all four seasons)

(inside) I can't believe it's been so long since we talked.

Metallic celestial sun

(inside) You're the light of my life

There are a ton of just blank cards with beautiful pictures on them. I have used MANY of the cards...most of them have been PERFECT for the situation I gave them out in. Even a card for dealing with the grief of a lost, loved one. Which I gave to my friend who lost her baby. Actually, that's why I was looking through my Mom's cards today was because it was the 2 year date of when she lost Luis.

And you know what?

I found the perfect card.

Video Updates Part Zwei

...and just because Emma likes to ALWAYS remind me that SHE walked first...here's a recap of Emma's first steps.

Hopefully, I can someday add a video of Romy walking...until then, here's my little miss beauty:

Video Update

As promised, video of Henry walking...he gets a little too excited at the end!

We've got a walker!

I'm shocked because I really thought Romy would walk first, and Henry would talk first...but to my amazement Henry started walking at 10 months 13 days. Pretty exact to Emma's first steps, too!

Of course I'm late in posting this (big shocker, eh?), and I'm not able to post the proper video, but I just wanted to share the news.

Romy still doesn't even stand alone really, and is perfectly content being carried around in someone's arms or crawling and inching along the walls to her final destination.

I can't believe they will be one year old soon. I would love to say the time flew...

Twins Suck

Did you know that?

Did you know that twins means TWO BABIES at all times?

I bet you thought you knew that...but you never actually had two babies around you ALL THE TIME WITHOUT EVER HAVING A BREAK, so you didn't really know that two was really two.

I'm so tired. I'm tired of these babies that give me no relief. They wear me out everyday. I'm living in Groundhog Day hell. They are the shittiest sleepers and, oh, did I mention they're two? So when you have one shitty sleeper, they usually very nicely wake the other shitty sleeper up too.

I wake up everyday, after waking up 5 times a night for Henry, and wish I could run away with my life. Really, I do. I check out ticket prices to LA, and think...hmmm, should I take Emma with me? Yes. Should I take Christian with me? No, someone has to look after the babies! SEE, I'm not all bad! I care about their welfare!

I'm so damn tired. I don't have time for anything. I would LOVE to go to the bathroom without four hands trying to beat down the door if I DARED to close it. Or to hang my wet laundry (yup, I said that - welcome to Europe, the 3rd world country), without having babies rip down everything that I just hung up. Maddening.

I'm away from all my friends, I'm away from my family. Can you imagine NEVER getting a break from your kid(s)? I mean like seriously, who lives like that?

Emma is adorable with them, my only saving grace. And how she earned her ticket with me on the plane to LA in my daydream runaway. But to forget who you are as a person is a horribly, rotten thing to happen. I'm no longer Jenn. I'm Emma Rey's mama, or the twins' mama. I'm not really Christian's wife - except for occasionally, but most people know me by the other descriptions.

My pity party is not over. It won't be over until these bastards are sleeping good, less cranky, and HE stops screeching in my ear the whole damn day! Do I just have loser twins that are loud - I mean LOUD, and shitty sleepers? I see my friend's baby, Livia, and she is always - ALWAYS so quiet, with this perfect little smirk on her face like she's thinking, "hmmm, I'm glad I'm here and not there (pointing her cute little finger into my stroller!".

Hmmpf.

out.